Photographer Captured by Liz Hair and Makeup Rachel Williamson Model Tulsi Vagjiani

Bouquet - Fauxever Blooms @fauxeverblooms Robe- The Nottingham Lace and Garter Company @nottinghamlacegarterco Garters : Hayze Boutique, hayzeboutique.com, @hayze.boutique Veil: Rebecca Anne Designs, @rebeccaannedesigns Hair Accessories, and Jewellery: Honey V , @honeyvtiaras Dress ASOS

Imagine having a visible difference, one that makes people stop and stare, make presumptions about you, and often making you feel like you don’t belong here.

I guess we all feel that at some point in our lives, but for someone living with a visible difference there’s just that extra added strand which makes this a daily thing.
I got my burns in a plane Crash when I was 10 years old, as if losing my identity wasn’t bad enough I lost my entire family; mum, dad and brother.

Growing up, it was tough. Constantly being stared at, being called ugly, disgusting and Freddy Kruger, took its toll on me. I hated myself. The self-loathing was relentless and never feeling good about myself.
Being told from the age of 10 that no one will look at you or want to get married to you, just face the facts you will always be single. No one will want to date you or employ you, we don’t mean to hurt you but we want to prepare you for the facts.

This is what I grew up with. Coming from a south Asian background, this was my norm!
For such a long time I believed and lived it.
When I did start dating and guys were able to see past my scars I thought I had hit the jackpot but I was just a secret, not being able to tell their friends or family about.
None of them wanted to settle down with me. So the thought of getting married was something unattainable.

This bridal photo shoot came at such a pinnacle time for me. Having just ended a relationship in which he wanted to marry me, I felt so loved and wanted. I imagined the dress, venue, etc but the thought of settling down actually didn’t feel right for me.

I never quite realized what this shoot would represent for me.
Threw myself in the deep end, if I never get to experience wearing a bridal dress then I will grab this opportunity. If nothing else, just some beautiful images for my portfolio.
Getting my hair and makeup done by the amazing @Rachel, whom I had met at a previous photoshoot for @Volup2 magazine, I felt comfortable and excited.

Never had I imagined me, a girl full of scars getting to wear a wedding dress. Getting to look beautiful for this ‘special day’.
Once the dress was on, I felt different, I felt special, I felt I deserved this. Never quite realizing just how all the little accessories associated with being a bride had such a poignant tone to it.
I felt amazing and for the first time, I felt hopeful.

I’ve seen many of my peers with a visible difference be in a beautiful committed relationship, so I know it is possible but that once felt near impossible to me for me.
Who could love me beyond my external and internal scars, however for me, it was me who had to accept them and love each and every one of them before I seek validation outside of Myself.
I don’t rule out getting married, but this feeling of not being beautiful or good enough has changed.
I wanted to do this photoshoot to mark this commitment to myself that I too am worthy enough to be a bride and deserve to feel amazing and confident in a bridal gown/dress.

A huge thank you to Rachel for making me feel amazing with my hair and makeup and to the wonderful Liz for the photoshoot itself.

As much as I love the camera, this shoot did feel a little out of my comfort zone!

Tulsi Vagjiani

Motivational Speaker
Pilates Rehabilitation Specialist